Four Family Vacation Myths
When I plan a trip for my family, I always imagine a picture perfect vacation. I envision my 9, 6, and 3 year olds in good moods the whole time. I think we’ll all get along better than we do at home. We’ll be well-rested and relaxed and really enjoy each other’s company.
In all the trips that I’ve taken with my family, I’ve learned that it’s not so easy to cultivate that kind of vacation. There are a lot of misconceptions floating around that set parents up for disappointment. Here are four of the biggest family vacation myths for you to avoid on your summer trip.
Myth #1: Everyone must do everything together.
Up until very recently, one of the priorities of a family trip was for the five of us to spend quality time together. In my mind, that meant that we would do everything together, sharing in each other’s interests. We would grow closer through these collective experiences, or so I thought. That’s unfortunately not how it played out. Instead of bonding and connection, we experienced moments of stress and tension. We were expecting everyone to be engaged in things that they were not interested in or that were not developmentally appropriate.
During our last few trips, my husband and I shifted our mindset. We split up for certain museum visits and activities. When possible, we gave our children the option of doing activity A with mom or activity B with dad.
The result still surprises me: splitting up has actually allowed us to bond more while on vacation! We have three kids, so it provides one-on-one time for one of our children with a parent. It allows us to visit museums a bit more in depth with our 9 year old, without a 6 and 3 year old in tow. As parents, it also gives us a bit of a breather from the inevitable conflicts that arise when more children are together. And it seems like all three of them feel a bit special with more focused parent attention.
Myth #2: Your children will behave better because everything is new and exciting.
Some children experience the exact opposite. With everything being new and different, it can actually be overwhelming for many kids (and even some adults!). It’s a lot to take in, and for some people it triggers a fight or flight reflex and they are continuously on edge.
This is always a challenge because it’s often unavoidable. One of the ways we deal with this is to plan a day with a low-stress, familiar activity. On our last trip we spent a few hours at a playground before heading to the library, and that was our day. It was something we all like to do, got us out of the house, and was completely stress-free.
Myth #3: While you’re on vacation, you’ll get a break from parenting.
I started many trips with this expectation, and it almost never panned out that way. Between all the unfamiliar experiences, different foods, and sometimes jet lag, there’s a lot of upheaval. This can trigger big emotions and outbursts. And if you’re like us, you’re spending a lot more time out at museums and restaurants where certain behaviors aren’t acceptable. I’ve really had to change my expectations here and prepare mentally for the additional support my kids might need.
Myth #4: The best way to maximize your time is to pack every day full of activities.
After many trips over the past few years with our kids, we have really pared down our itineraries. We select just one thing to do per day. If we accomplish that one thing, the day was a success. We also limit meals at a sit-down restaurant to once a day max, and eat at our accommodations or grab something from a food stand. This prevents us from overdoing it and becoming overtired or overstimulated.
So if you’re feeling stressed about your next family vacation, you’re not alone! I’ve been there, and I hope my experiences help lead you to a smoother, more balanced family vacation!